Do you radiate Integrity and congruence?

Have you noticed that some people radiate an intangible quality? Many grapple to describe this quality by labelling it as confidence, some call it authority others may go as far as to describe it as charisma. In our Coaching to Be More, Bring More programme we call it congruence. Congruence is a quality that comes from the inside. When you have it you know it, when you don’t have it you REALLY know it. It is a feeling of wholeness, integrity, of being at peace with who you are. When you don’t have it, it result in a feeling of unease, uncertainty and inner tension. Congruence comes from knowing who you are and what you stand for, from knowing your deepest values and motivations. But more than that it comes from accepting yourself. What is interesting is that those who are congruent have nothing to prove, not to themselves or other people and as a result do not need to use power or authority to get things done. Their congruence does not come from status or position but from a deep self awareness and self acceptance.

To act with integrity and congruence you must first know who you are. It requires you to explore your inner and outer territory. In other words it invites you to explore your map of the world (inner territory) and how that impacts on your outer territory (behaviour) and aims to give you the tools and techniques that enable you to surface what you find and bring it out into the world.

How do you learn to become congruent?

The biggest piece of work you can do to ensure congruence is to carry out a values audit. Clarifying your values at the deepest level gives you confidence, determination and the ability to take control of your life. Clarifying values supplies you with an internal compass by which to navigate the course of your daily life. The clearer the values the easier to stay on track. This is especially useful when times are challenging and I often liken the result of a values audit as having the ability to live your life in the eye of a hurricane; providing an anchor to keep us focused amid the whirlwind of daily distraction.  Values influence every aspect of our lives, our moral judgements, and our responses to others. In relationships with others it is usually a values clash that causes the most challenges to building lasting rapport. Values enable self determination. When your values are clear you don’t have to rely on anyone else for direction, you can act independently, and they motivate, keeping us focussed on what we are doing and on the ends to which we are striving.

 

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