Your Presence is Required…

This weekend I attended a retreat that involved a considerable amount of ‘coaching.’ As we embarked on our first exercise we were given the clear instruction to do and say nothing other than repeat the simple question that had been written down for us.

‘The only thing that is required’ said our teacher ‘is your presence.’ ‘Your presence’ he went on to say ‘is a silent appreciation and affirming of the person you are coaching.’

Being able to sit with someone in this way is simple but not easy. It means we have to put all of our needs to one side and simply BE with the other. It requires us to trust in the other person’s process and that they have the answers inside them. It requires a deep intentionality and respectful listening to what is trying to happen in the client’s life.

The result of holding this space for another person can not be overestimated. When we are truly able to bring our full attention to another this unconditional attitude helps to open up the client to a fuller understanding of what is happening for them. In short when a person feels supported at this very elemental level they feel safe enough to come out of hiding and express who they really are and what they really want.

This level of coaching practice goes beyond using clever questions and sophisticated technique based models. It is much more elemental and requires the coach to have undergone their own journey of self awareness, be fully aware of their own needs and fears, and have developed the practice of staying in the present moment.

These skills are not just for the few, they are learnable and teachable and require nothing more than an open mind and an intense curiosity. If you are ready to take your coaching practice to the next level why not consider joining Jane on the ‘Quest for Authenticity’.


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